What women's rights look like when the two sides come together as one.
What women's rights are when women are no longer manipulated by party rhetoric.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Less Cranky----

Cynthia Ruccia

Well, it's the night before Thanksgiving and I should be doing Thanksgiving stuff. Instead, I am at my computer pecking away. It's as if I need to empty out my brain in order to make room for all of tomorrow's goodies.

I'm a little less cranky as time passes. I have realized that my hopes and desires were tied up in seeing our president lose to pay for his sexist sins, and now that it hasn't happened, when I get over being upset about it I feel, well, a little disoriented. I also feel as if a weight of some kind has been lifted from me. I mean, if we can't do anything to beat him anymore, what's next?

I certainly don't want to spend the next four years beating up on him. What good will that do? He won, and along with it an assumption that he will never ever have to pay for the unbelievable sexism that he let flourish on his watch. This doesn't mean that I'm going to go back to the Democratic brand as some in our position have. I just can't do that. The brand of Democrat that I aligned myself with doesn't exist anymore.

My 4 years in the desert have been at least an interesting experience. Once I realized I was duped by a party that was hollow to the core, not living up to any of the beliefs that I thought it embodied, I was set loose on an odyssey I never imagined I would ever experience. I described it to many like I awakened in the world of Alice-in-Wonderland with the world being completely upside down. My party, the party of women, took a vacation from that stance to elect an African-American president at any cost including perpetrating extreme sexism, to reach its goal. Unlike some, I was only a Democrat for the advancement of women, and when the Democrats I thought I knew needed to bury the women to get where they needed to go, it was game over for me and 4 million others.

So I went on my trip to check out the Republican opposition, a party that I had fought against for 40 + years. That was truly an amazing experience. The Hillary supporters who left the party were a hot commodity to the Republicans in 2008. I was invited to many many events to speak and I attended the Democratic and Republican conventions that year as a guest of the Republicans.

It was actually alot of fun once I got over my gut wrenching queasiness for being among the "enemy." I really wasn't interested in joining up with them for anything other than seeing Obama pay for what the Democratic party had turned into----a group of suddenly sexist amnesiacs who were willing to make hate threats and death threats to those like me. Who were these people who claimed to be Democrats? Had they been there all along but I had never noticed? Well, the Republicans of 2008 and beyond and I shared the same goal, and so I kept an eye on them. I studied them with a fresh new perspective. It was really fun at the Republican convention of 2008 seeing all of these people who had been my sworn enemies in the flesh.  I felt alternately welcomed, queasy, weird, unsure, and treated very very well.

In the end, I'm so glad to have had the experiences I did, because I have a whole new philosophy. First of all, I'll not be a party member again. I've got my own beliefs, and neither party really fits for me. Secondly, I really like alot of the way the Republicans look at fiscal issues, and I believe I always have. I despise the way both parties use the social issues to divide, demonize, and destroy. Both sides do it a little differently, but both sides do it. And I dislike them both the same for it. These issues bring out the worst of humanity in people, and both sides look distorted and sick. In the name of either being progressive or being moral, the parties perpetrate the worst humans can give. There is no interest in finding any common ground, only in pulverizing the other side. A pox on both of them!!!!

I bring all of this stuff up, because I'm having that queasy feeling again in quite an unexpected way as I look to the future. You see, all of a sudden, those very same Democrats who buried the sexism as if it never happened are all of a sudden proclaiming their excitement and a sense of urgency that it is finally time to elect a woman president. Woo hoo and bully for them!!!! I have felt a sense of disgust at how these Democrats, men and women alike, absolutely did everything in their power to make sure Hillary lost, turned their sexist guns on Sarah Palin, and then acted like none of it happened. I am also saving a special place in my disgust for the men and women who saw it happen, protested it bitterly, left the party, only to go back and vote for the sexist again. It is a load of disgust that many of us carry around.

Finally, the last focus of my ire are the folks who continue to tell us to "get over it." These types who tell us to stop blaming Obama, stop blaming the Democrats I believe have a very very deep seated sense of guilt over what happened and are urgently telling us to shut up so they can bury their guilt. Fat chance folks------

Thing is, I still want to see a woman president in my lifetime. I don't really care which party makes it happen. Well, that's not really true. I'd love to see it be a Republican woman as the first to show the party of women that they are just a bunch of phonies. However, that is an indulgence that I will put away as I am aware of the pettiness of it all. (but it still feels good to think about it) So if there are people on the Democratic side who are truly motivated to elect a woman (Hillary 2016 is the battle cry), I'm on board. But to be honest, that same queasy feeling hanging out with the Republicans is now there when I realize that I'll have to join up with the same folks who have the amnesia about the Democratic sexist morass of 2008. As they say, politics makes strange bedfellows, and in this case it is true. There is also another saying in politics careful who you offend because you may need them for another fight somewhere down the road.

I think I'll not get so involved if Hillary runs again. And I really hope that the Republicans take the advice of many and put one of their own outstanding women on the presidential ticket to show that they are a party that supports women. There are 5 female Republican governors to the Democrat's 1. The experience of managing a state is great training for the presidency. And to be honest, if it turns out that Hillary runs and wins the Democratic nomination (and I hope the Dems give her a clear shot at it with no opposition this time), imo the only woman with the gravitas to take her on on the Republican side is Condi Rice. I hope someone talks some sense into Condi and convinces her that her country needs her talents to be our leader. Whatever is holding her back can be fixed----whatever it is.

I'm also still cranky about those sore winners out there who are still fighting the campaign. I got so worked up about it, I wrote a letter to the Columbus Dispatch in hopes of doing my part to bring an end to the gloating, preening, and circular firing squads. I guess it is naive to think that this process will have a clean ending, but I wish folks would just lighten up!!!

I guess I'm rambling, but in the end, it is time to move on and take a look at the landscape for the future. My number one priority is to get more women elected, particularly at the top, and if I have to hold hands with some of the traitors to get there, well so be it. I won't like it, but I will do what I have to do to put a woman in the White House. Maybe 2016 will be our year when that glass ceiling finally gets obliterated forever.

So to all of you who read this blog, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. We have much to be thankful for-----for each other and because we are going to elect that woman president.  That is where our hopes for the future are.......


  1. Happy Thanksgiving to you too. And no, I'll not be a party member ever again. And I hope we see some real changes in both of the parties. The big wakeup call will be Jan. 1, 2013, when the folks see what has been deducted from their paychecks. The Taxman commeth (Note, it is not the Taxwoman.)
    Best wishe for the holiday to everybody.

  2. same to you SantaFeK----I'm most thankful for getting to know you!!!!

  3. Cynthia, your journey has many parallels with mine. You articulate it much better than I can!

    However, I won't ever support Hillary again because of her capitulation (remember how we wrote and wrote to those superdelegates - then she caved) and subsequent embrace of the very person (and his handlers) who treated her - and Sarah Palin - so despicably in 2008. I truly lost all respect for her and for the Democrat party.

    I am right there with you - hoping and praying that the Republican party will include one of their many qualified and inspiring women as part of the 2016 ticket.

    Life goes on and there is so much else for which I am thankful. I'm feeling less cranky, too. We just have to keep on fighting the good fight, don't we?

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and to all.

    1. I understand your view on Hillary well. I also harbor some of those feelings. I guess I'm able to look away from those kinds of things because I know she did it so she could fight another day.I feel less good about her husband doing all of that campaigning for O after what that campaign did to him in 2008. It's hard to respect people after watching that kind of world class pandering.

      But this is what our politics have become and have maybe always been. I'll still take a woman president any day----even Hillary....

      Hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful CT Patriot, and hope you keep in the conversation over here!!

  4. I'm still super cranky! But I'm ignoring it all until after the holidays. I have so much to be thankful for, not the least of which is this blog and all the new wonderful friends I made after '08.

    So thank you all and Happy Thanksgiving!
    (I'll be a cranky curmudgeon again next week ;)

    1. Thia....I know it's a slow road to recovery-----sigh. Thank goodness for friends and turkey!!! Hope you ate well and are passed out on the couch!!!!

  5. CT Patriot,

    Remember that HRC is a loyal Dem, and unfortunately she had to cave on the rollcall. I think she showed tremendous inner strength and character to not mope after she was so rounded cheated by the Dems. She as a public servant took the SOS job which was offered. She has done a terrific job and I don't think it is fair to minimize her efforts, even though I despise BO.

    Like Cynthia, I am now no longer a Dem, (except in registration for various reasons) and have seen that the Reps are fiscally much more responsible than the Dems. I choose to vote Rep almost exclusively. Hope that they'll change their platform and get out of controlling women's bodies! Wish that third parties were practical but they aren't.

    1. amen Anonymous----wish both parties would just stop with the social issues and focus on other things. Sadly, that type of focus moves certain voters....

  6. I agree with all that you wrote. Maybe next time we will be able to vote for a woman. Preferably for POTUS!

  7. Hillary Clinton will not be the Democratic Party's nominee in 2016. If they allow a woman on the ticket, it will be Elizabeth Warren. The fix is already in. While I, too, would like to see a woman POTUS in my lifetime, I am past the point where any woman will do, and I will not support Warren. There are a lot of good possibilities on the Republican side of the aisle. I hope they give me a good candidate to vote for.

    1. samanthasmom---I agree about Warren. I can support just about anyone, but that one would be tough for me. I haven't forgotten how she turned her back on Hillary in 2008. But do you really think that THAT fix is in? I mean she hasn't done anything yet......

    2. Yup, I do. And at this time in 2004, what had Obama done? When the MA Democratic Party refused for the first time ever to allow a candidate who had enough support to legally challenge her opponent in a primary do it, I knew they were fast-tracking Warren for a reason. In any other year before this one, Marisa DeFranco and Warren would have gone head to head, and Warren would have been properly vetted. But it didn't happen. When she was given the keynote spot to speak at the Democratic Convention, I knew what the reason is. Warren is a first class, shameless liar, and yet there she is on her way to senate. Most of the media has been complicit all of the way. She's lied about taking advantage of affirmative action when she's not entitled to it, practiced law without a license, claimed to be on the side of the people being foreclosed on while she makes a fortune flipping houses that have been foreclosed, and represented large insurance companies in personal injury suits but says she really was working for the other side, the little people. If the latter is really true, she's guilty of legal malpractice and the insurance companies should sue her. It will be interesting to see who her "Tony Rezko" is.

      I've watched while the country is going to hell in a hand basket with good people being silenced because to criticize is to be racist. I don't want Warren to finish the trip and for us to be silenced because to criticize is sexist. There has to be a better candidate out there for women to rally around.