Well, it's the night before Thanksgiving and I should be doing Thanksgiving stuff. Instead, I am at my computer pecking away. It's as if I need to empty out my brain in order to make room for all of tomorrow's goodies.
I'm a little less cranky as time passes. I have realized that my hopes and desires were tied up in seeing our president lose to pay for his sexist sins, and now that it hasn't happened, when I get over being upset about it I feel, well, a little disoriented. I also feel as if a weight of some kind has been lifted from me. I mean, if we can't do anything to beat him anymore, what's next?
I certainly don't want to spend the next four years beating up on him. What good will that do? He won, and along with it an assumption that he will never ever have to pay for the unbelievable sexism that he let flourish on his watch. This doesn't mean that I'm going to go back to the Democratic brand as some in our position have. I just can't do that. The brand of Democrat that I aligned myself with doesn't exist anymore.
My 4 years in the desert have been at least an interesting experience. Once I realized I was duped by a party that was hollow to the core, not living up to any of the beliefs that I thought it embodied, I was set loose on an odyssey I never imagined I would ever experience. I described it to many like I awakened in the world of Alice-in-Wonderland with the world being completely upside down. My party, the party of women, took a vacation from that stance to elect an African-American president at any cost including perpetrating extreme sexism, to reach its goal. Unlike some, I was only a Democrat for the advancement of women, and when the Democrats I thought I knew needed to bury the women to get where they needed to go, it was game over for me and 4 million others.
So I went on my trip to check out the Republican opposition, a party that I had fought against for 40 + years. That was truly an amazing experience. The Hillary supporters who left the party were a hot commodity to the Republicans in 2008. I was invited to many many events to speak and I attended the Democratic and Republican conventions that year as a guest of the Republicans.
It was actually alot of fun once I got over my gut wrenching queasiness for being among the "enemy." I really wasn't interested in joining up with them for anything other than seeing Obama pay for what the Democratic party had turned into----a group of suddenly sexist amnesiacs who were willing to make hate threats and death threats to those like me. Who were these people who claimed to be Democrats? Had they been there all along but I had never noticed? Well, the Republicans of 2008 and beyond and I shared the same goal, and so I kept an eye on them. I studied them with a fresh new perspective. It was really fun at the Republican convention of 2008 seeing all of these people who had been my sworn enemies in the flesh. I felt alternately welcomed, queasy, weird, unsure, and treated very very well.
In the end, I'm so glad to have had the experiences I did, because I have a whole new philosophy. First of all, I'll not be a party member again. I've got my own beliefs, and neither party really fits for me. Secondly, I really like alot of the way the Republicans look at fiscal issues, and I believe I always have. I despise the way both parties use the social issues to divide, demonize, and destroy. Both sides do it a little differently, but both sides do it. And I dislike them both the same for it. These issues bring out the worst of humanity in people, and both sides look distorted and sick. In the name of either being progressive or being moral, the parties perpetrate the worst humans can give. There is no interest in finding any common ground, only in pulverizing the other side. A pox on both of them!!!!
I bring all of this stuff up, because I'm having that queasy feeling again in quite an unexpected way as I look to the future. You see, all of a sudden, those very same Democrats who buried the sexism as if it never happened are all of a sudden proclaiming their excitement and a sense of urgency that it is finally time to elect a woman president. Woo hoo and bully for them!!!! I have felt a sense of disgust at how these Democrats, men and women alike, absolutely did everything in their power to make sure Hillary lost, turned their sexist guns on Sarah Palin, and then acted like none of it happened. I am also saving a special place in my disgust for the men and women who saw it happen, protested it bitterly, left the party, only to go back and vote for the sexist again. It is a load of disgust that many of us carry around.
Finally, the last focus of my ire are the folks who continue to tell us to "get over it." These types who tell us to stop blaming Obama, stop blaming the Democrats I believe have a very very deep seated sense of guilt over what happened and are urgently telling us to shut up so they can bury their guilt. Fat chance folks------
Thing is, I still want to see a woman president in my lifetime. I don't really care which party makes it happen. Well, that's not really true. I'd love to see it be a Republican woman as the first to show the party of women that they are just a bunch of phonies. However, that is an indulgence that I will put away as I am aware of the pettiness of it all. (but it still feels good to think about it) So if there are people on the Democratic side who are truly motivated to elect a woman (Hillary 2016 is the battle cry), I'm on board. But to be honest, that same queasy feeling hanging out with the Republicans is now there when I realize that I'll have to join up with the same folks who have the amnesia about the Democratic sexist morass of 2008. As they say, politics makes strange bedfellows, and in this case it is true. There is also another saying in politics careful who you offend because you may need them for another fight somewhere down the road.
I think I'll not get so involved if Hillary runs again. And I really hope that the Republicans take the advice of many and put one of their own outstanding women on the presidential ticket to show that they are a party that supports women. There are 5 female Republican governors to the Democrat's 1. The experience of managing a state is great training for the presidency. And to be honest, if it turns out that Hillary runs and wins the Democratic nomination (and I hope the Dems give her a clear shot at it with no opposition this time), imo the only woman with the gravitas to take her on on the Republican side is Condi Rice. I hope someone talks some sense into Condi and convinces her that her country needs her talents to be our leader. Whatever is holding her back can be fixed----whatever it is.
I'm also still cranky about those sore winners out there who are still fighting the campaign. I got so worked up about it, I wrote a letter to the Columbus Dispatch in hopes of doing my part to bring an end to the gloating, preening, and circular firing squads. I guess it is naive to think that this process will have a clean ending, but I wish folks would just lighten up!!!
I guess I'm rambling, but in the end, it is time to move on and take a look at the landscape for the future. My number one priority is to get more women elected, particularly at the top, and if I have to hold hands with some of the traitors to get there, well so be it. I won't like it, but I will do what I have to do to put a woman in the White House. Maybe 2016 will be our year when that glass ceiling finally gets obliterated forever.
So to all of you who read this blog, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. We have much to be thankful for-----for each other and because we are going to elect that woman president. That is where our hopes for the future are.......